Fudge is G-o-o-d!

On Christmas Eve WW still had the noon weigh in and meeting. It was a small crowd...just 4 of us! I am glad I went to help me stay focused for the hardest days for me yet...Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day!

The best present that I got was:

-2.6 lbs this week
-70 lbs - total lost!

Losing 70 lbs by Christmas really is the BEST gift I could have ever given myself! What a difference it makes! I basically lost the equivalent of my two sons. Lukas and Slade together weigh around 70 lbs! It's hard to carry one of them at a time, and almost impossible to carry them both at the same time! How did I function 70 lbs heavier? No wonder it was so hard to do anything! I can't even imagine how I will feel when I reach my ultimate goal!

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Ugg.

Now, I mentioned earlier that Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day would be the hardest days for me. And they were! My Mom sent fudge and we had other goodies in the house all week. By Wed. night I was L O N G I N G for some fudge! I just wanted to eat some fudge. I told myself I just have to wait until I weigh in, and then I can have my 'relaxed holiday time' and enjoy some then.

It was SOOOOOOOOO good! Between that night and Christmas Day I got plenty of fudge for the year! I did have plenty of treats and yummy meals. I didn't eat everything I looked at and so fast that I didn't taste it! That's an improvement over last year. I wrote down some of what I ate later in the day, but I didn't figure points. I knew I was in the negative! Some 'Old Karly' thoughts tried to creep in. The main feeling I had at one point is "Great. Now the 70 lbs you've lost doesn't mean a thing!" I started to feel like the really fat girl again. But I stopped myself quickly with a "Whoa! Just because you had some holiday food ON Christmas does not negate anything you have done the last 4 months! You did not gain 70 lbs back in one day! In fact, how do you plan to keep this off if you never allow yourself to have anything! You will not make it. So relax. You have enjoyed so don't panic now. You are fine. "

That helped. And now that that was few days ago, I have proved to myself that I can enjoy a day and not ruin everything! I got right back on the plan Saturday and had an hour workout where I burned over a thousand calories. In the OLD DAYS I would have been on a binge from Thanksgiving to New Years, and then it would take until Valentines until I started to think that maybe I should get in control.

My plan this week is to exercise a little longer each day, and be VERY careful with the carbs! My goal this week is to NOT GAIN. I am not planning on or hoping for a loss. I just want to maintain the 70 lbs. I am nervous but am trying to stay calm. Stress does not help you lost weight so I don't want to stress myself out. No matter what happens at the next weigh in, I am so proud of how I have handled this Holiday Season!

Found What I Didn't Know Was Lost!

I found something this week that I didn't even know was lost!

At my heaviest weight there were plenty of areas I was very self conscience of. Nobody saw my legs. My stomach had to be covered with a long shirt. Though, seriously, I was hiding nothing! Then a few days I ago I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day, when I saw a strange, hard bulge on my neck! Nick was in the bathroom too and I said, "What's that?" In the instant after I said that I screamed,

"It's my COLLAR BONE! I can see my Collar Bone! Look Nick! Look at my collar bone!!!"

I had never realized I couldn't see it, but the second I did see it, I knew I have not seen it for a very long time! That is an NSV --- Non Scale Victory! So I looked at an old picture and a new picture taken a couple weeks ago to see if I could tell in a picture. Sure enough:

Besides the collar bone excitement, I did weigh in.

-3.6 lbs

Total lost: -67.4

I got my 65 lb star!

I was thrilled to lose again! It feels so good to reach another mini milestone and get my 65 lb star, and I am not too far from 7olbs! That just blows my mind! I AM DOING IT! The consistent planning, making smart choices, and exercise are paying off! It is especially rewarding during the Holiday Season. This is usually when I would easily gain another 10 lbs...easily!

Which brings me to what I have been thinking about this week (besides my collar bone -- he he!) One of the reasons I wanted to stay home for Christmas this year (besides work schedules) was so I could be more in control of my 'eating environment'. I just don't want to get de-railed and be where I have no control of what kinds of food I am given or that are made. Losing weight is hard by itself, harder during the Holidays, and dangerously hard when totally out of your own element! So I am thankful to be able to control it more this season, though we will miss being with family! That being said, I also don't want to punish my family in the name of my weight loss! So I made a plan of how I could handle these things.

Ever since I started, not just during the Holiday, my weight in day of Thursday is the day I have a treat and am a little more relaxed. I know it's important to keep that "I'm so deprived" monster away. If I never have anything that I crave or sweets, I know from experience I will crack one day and go off the deep end on a binge. That's why Thursday is the day I bake cookies for the family, or rice crispy treats, etc. so they can have a treat for the week. I eat some too and don't feel bad about it. Thursday is also pancake night. My boys LOVE them and were always wanting them, but they are really tempting to me and hard not to eat. So we have them on Thursdays and I have some without guilt. I keep track of my points still, but will use some of the extra we are allowed to use during the week.

I am using this same philosophy to get me through the Holidays. We made sugar cookies on a Thursday when I could taste the frosting and have a cookie or two. We also have Christmas candy in some of our holiday decorations. I don't have any during the week, but on Thursday I had a few pieces. Today my friend gave me huge platter of delicious baked goods! They are staying wrapped until Nick gets to them. I will have him save me a piece of fudge I will eat Thursday. Nick does love fudge, so thankfully my Mom is sending him some so I didn't have to make it. Thanks Mom!

This week will be fine. I am a little worried about the next week that starts on Christmas Eve. I am making our traditional Christmas Eve dinner of Lumpia, and then we also have a big Christmas day ham dinner. So I will have to really plan out my food and decide what I am going to eat before the meals. I can have some of everything. And the meal itself is usually not the problem...it's all the leftovers that call to me the rest of the week! But I did not fall prisoner to the Thanksgiving leftovers, so that gives me confidence in making it through Christmas leftovers, too!

What I have to prove to myself this season is that I can enjoy all of my favorites, I can enjoy all of the parties and festivities, and still be in control! If I do have a treat, I am fine with it as long as I decide to eat it...and I track the point value! The mental state of the decision is everything. Impulse --- bad. Conscience Choice --- good.

“Victory belongs to the most persevering.”

~Napoleon Bonaparte

Perseverance is what we talked about in our WW meeting last week. It is exactly what I have to have to continue on my journey through this Holiday! I love this quote. I will persevere and I will have my victory!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Merry Christmas!

Stars

I had another good week and I hope everyone else did too!

I weighed in and the results are:

-4 lbs

Total Lost: -63.8 lbs

I was really surprised! After a bigger loss of 5 lbs last week, I usually have a smaller one the next week! So 4 lbs was very exciting! It also put me over the 60 lb mark! I got my 60 lb star and am only 1.8 lbs from my 65 lb star!

What star? That's what you're thinking, right?

At the WW meetings there are awards you can earn.

The most common one is the 5lb star!

You get this little star every time you lose another 5 lbs. They are just a small star with a 5 on it but I LOVE to get them! Each 5 lbs is my mini goal and I really love reaching that and then getting the star to celebrate!

They give you a book mark to keep them on. Mine is on the fridge so I can see the success I am having at all times! It's a great reminder, especially when opening the fridge!

There are other longer term goals to work toward too. The first goal when you join is 5% of your weight. That is the big star you see on my book mark. The next goal is 10% of your body weight. When you reach that you get a key chain.

The key chain

There are disks to add to your key chain.

I got the 25 lb disk when I had lost 25 lbs.

I also got the 50 lb disk

The next disk I am working for is the 75 lb disk and then the 100 lb disk. I am not sure what awards are after that.

These awards are all small but mean so much to me! I guess it's just something to hold in my hand that represents that accomplishment. I have such a large amount of weight to lose, these mini 5 lb star goals really keep me focused on the immediate 5 lb goal. It can be easy to look ahead to all I have left and get discouraged. That's why right now I don't have an exact number to get to. I know I have over 100 lbs to lose, but right now I am just looking at 5 lbs at a time! And it feels great to be close to my 65 lb star!

Another side note I wanted to add is how sweet Nick is! If you don't already know, I LOVE the biggest loser!

I was so happy for Danny that he won! Nick and I both really liked him the entire competition. I was sad that it was over though! It is the only thing I watch EVERY week, every second of the show. It has been fun to watch them go through their journeys while I am going through mine. It was often very emotional for me to watch. But I am thrilled to know that it starts again on Jan. 5th! YEA!

If you have seen the show, you can follow this. When the contestants step on the scale Ali says what their previous weight was and then the scale goes "Beep. Beep. Beep" ....until the current weight shows. She then says what their current weight is.

Well, when I get home Nick always looks at my book that shows my results and does the biggest loser scale scene for me! He's so cute covering up my current loss, tells me my previous weight, does the beeps, and then announces my current weight! He is such an amazing support and makes a big deal out of each weight in. It's silly but so fun!

Quote of the week:

Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.

~Author Unknown

Each 5 lb star I get is a pebble I have passed on my way to conquering MY mountain!

Thank you for all the kind comments! You have no idea how they fuel me to do even better! Thank you for taking the time to read about my journey!

The Old Me is On the Curb!

What a week!

First of all I did weigh in:

-5 lbs

Total lost -59.8 lbs

I am THRILLED with that!!! It was a great loss, but I also can't believe how close I am to having lost 60 lbs! It feels so great to keep reaching these small goals, because as I reach each one I am getting closer to my ultimate goal!

It was also a week that I proved to myself that I WILL NOT gain this weight back! And if I am never going to gain this weight back, then I DO NOT need the clothes that are too big for me!

Like these ---

But let's be honest...it's still a little scary to get rid of hundreds of dollars worth of clothes! A safety net. Just in case...right? NO!!! I will not allow myself to even consider having these clothes 'just in case'. Keeping these clothes is admitting to myself that I could gain this weight back! I will NOT allow that to happen. I will not lose this weight again! Will it always be easy...no. Will I have to work my whole life to keep it off...yes. But it will be easier to maintain than lose. And I am making a lifestyle change, not suffering on a diet!

So even though it was harder than I thought it would be...I went through the closet and made a pile...a pretty large pile...

Some of it was pretty new. I bought this shirt for work this summer. It's a 3x! It just hangs now and just a few months ago I was having trouble keeping the buttons closed! Goodbye!

The fun part was opening a bunch of boxes and going through clothes that Nick has let me cart around, move after move for the last years. I found brand new sweat shirts that I was never able to wear, and some of my favorite sweaters, pants, pajamas, and even a bathrobe! How FANTASTIC and FUN it was to have so many things fit! I also made a box of things that are close that I can try on as I lose more! Shopping at HOME! In fact, Nick has been telling me I need some warm-up type pants that I can wear in public. I only have the lounge type with things like snowmen on them that I only wear at home (well, usually just at home!) I found an old pair that I used to love and they FIT!

Old clothes are new again!

Today at church I wore a fantastic skirt and blouse I got over 4 years ago. My friend said, "You look great! Did you go shopping for new clothes!" It's so fun to have things to wear again, especially when it's not costing me any money...yet!!!

So we boxed up all those clothes that I will NEVER NEED again. We were on our way out and Nick said, "Let's just take it later." I said, "No. I want those out of the house! I am DONE with them!"

Goodbye old clothes that represent the old me!

It felt good to Kick 'Em to the curb and leave the old me behind...for GOOD!