mUncHinG MaDnNeEsS!

It has been a very long, wonderful, relaxing...WANT TO MUNCH LIKE CRAZY DAY! Don't get me wrong, I am loving the 9am-12pm church. We actually have a day to enjoy each other and just be home as a family! BUT...I am also HOME ALL DAY and the Sunday Munchies kick-it into high-gear mode!

That is also why I weigh-in on Mondays, to avoid the "Sunday Sabotage"! It is working, I am holding my own on Sundays and forcing myself to stay focused. I have been drinking alot of water today, the Sugar Free Chocolate Chips have been a helpful snack, as have the cream cheese cups. I was going to have a salad tonight, but no, it was not in me. The thought actually revolted me just a little bit. So I will just have some pudding and water after the boys are in bed.

I love salad all week, but by Sundays I guess I just need a break. By Sunday I am feeling more cravings and the need to be a little more relaxed. That is why I force myself to make it through Sunday, and then on Monday I give myself a bit of a break. I will have a real snack. I will have a few more good carbs, maybe more fruit...whatever the day brings. It gives me a chance to feel 'indulgent' and not totally deprived of all wonderful foods.

The Key: Not letting it de-rail the rest of my week or 'relaxing' so much it makes it hard to lose that week. It's not a pig-out/go crazy/leave reason behind day. It's just not so strict and when I will allow myself to have a good treat that I have been craving.

With all that said, I have tried really hard to keep the munching in check today! I will see how the weigh-in goes tomorrow. There is such a thing as 'too many approved snacks'....hopefully I will still lose tomorrow!

I am crossing my fingers!

The Next Step...

+

=

My first workout since before the Holidays!

Even though I have been doing good with my eating choices, I had not yet gotten back to exercise. As I have watched the Biggest Loser the last two weeks I thought to myself, "If they can work out for something ridiculous like 8 hours a day, I can get one short workout in a day!"

So this morning when I went downstairs to get on my elliptical, I told myself, "You can do more!" I threw my 20 minute workout out the window and did 30 minutes! (It jump-started my water drinking for the day too!) Now, I know, I know...you are thinking, "Wow! Way to stretch yourself!" There are people reading this that do WAY more than that: like my sister-in-laws Lindsey and Jenn who both ran half marathons this weekend, and my sister-in-law Gina who does an hour of aerobics 6 days a week, and my sister Cinda who is 6 1/2 months pregnant and does half an hour 5 days a week on the elliptical! You are all AMAZING! You all inspire me!

But, I have to take what I have been doing and go from there. I will not be running a half marathon anytime soon! But, I do want to work up to 45 minute workouts 5 days a week. At some point I want to get back into strength training too.

My goal this week is to work out 4 times (today, Thursday, Friday and Saturday) for 30 minutes. Next week I will go longer. I know that even this much exercise is wonderful for my heart and is burning calories. It will help me reach my goals!

Quote of the day:

“Exercise: you don't have time not to”

-Author Unknown

This is my new mindset! I have to make time for me, and exercising is for me! I know it will start my day off right and will reinforce my desire to make good food choices throughout the day. I will continue to burn calories after I have stopped working out. Endorphins will be released that will help me feel good about myself. Why wouldn't I want to exercise?

A Birthday Present for Me & Weekly Weigh-In!

Don't worry, nobody has missed my birthday! I am just looking ahead as I set my next goal. My birthday is August 25th, and what better present could there be for myself, than reaching another weight loss milestone! So I made my birthday the end point for my next big goal, with small steps along the way of course.

Here is the goal and the plan:

• Goal: To lose 50 pounds by August 24th
• Plan: There are 31 weeks from today, Monday January 19th to Monday August 24th.

-I have broken that time into 10 three week segments

-I must lose 5 lbs every three weeks to get a reward

-Then there will be one remaining week that I will hopefully not need to lose in to reach my goal (because I will have already met it)

-When I reach that goal I will have a total weight loss of about 75 pounds

I know that losing 5 lbs every three weeks does not sound like very much. But it just isn't realistic to expect to lose 2 lbs EVERY week! There will be weeks I don't lose at all and will have to make it up in other weeks. But I feel like this is an attainable goal to reach by August 24th. I am sure there will be three weeks segments that I don't make the 5 lb goal, but there will be other segments that I exceed it. I think that between the low loss weeks and the high loss weeks it should even out and I can still make this goal!

*********************************************

I did weigh in today. I was hoping to lose the rest of the Christmas gain, and I DID!

Weigh in Report:

Loss this week: 1.6 lbs

Total loss: 25.6 lbs

I am really happy with this loss, especially since I had a couple rough days! Monday I ate at Sam's club with Lukas and Slade while we waited for our car to get new tires. The sugar pretzel was too good to resist! I did have some of that. And then Lukas wanted ice cream, and I helped with that too. I did make a good choice though, I got pizza and ate the topping, no crust! And then on Tuesday I went to our friends, the Kings, for dinner! The ham was wonderful, but I did have some potatoes, and a roll. I was in charge of the dessert and brought a wonderful dish my mother-in-law Cindy makes, Pistachio Dessert. It is mostly all South Beach approved, pudding, cool whip, cream cheese. The crust is the only carb, which is flour, butter and nuts. It is SO good though. The good choice I made, I left the rest of the dessert with them! They gave me some yummy ham to bring home and I loved eating that last week!

But when Wed came I knew I needed to really buckle down hard the rest of the week if I was going to lose still. I did Phase 1 1/2, I drank water (about 64 oz) and not pop every afternoon, and I chewed more gum for snacks!

But Saturday we had another little party for Lukas's birthday with Nick here. I found a cake mix with reduced sugar, and made a Cool Whip frosting for the top. It was really good and I had a small piece!

Yesterday, we went to Nick's parents house for a birthday party and to just be with family. His Mom made pancakes that looked SO good. I didn't have any though (maybe one bite of Slade's). I brought a South Beach bar with me, a string cheese, and an apple. We were there later than I thought we would be, so when hunger hit again I had some cheese they had and another Diet Pepsi. When I got home I had some pudding and Cool Whip.

If I had not had any treats this week, maybe I could have lost more. But, I LIVED my life this week, and still stayed on the Beach, and I still lost. I believe that that is the SECRET to weight loss success!

Quote of the day:

The belly is ungrateful--it always forgets we already gave it something.

- Russian Proverb

This just made me smile! I hope it makes you smile too! :0)

The Biggest Loser

I always told myself I would NOT watch this show! When the first season started I remember thinking, "What a dumb show. Sure, they'll lose weight. ANYONE can lose weight when they have a personal trainer, their food plans are done for them, with no other distractions on a ranch far away from everyone else. How unreal can you get!" I think as a 'large' person myself it was almost offensive to me...a show about big fat people.

So I saw an occasional episode and through the grapevine kind of knew about it. Then last season it seemed like so many people I know were watching it, and LOVED it. And maybe now that I am in a place in my life where I am focused on it and working toward goals, I was ready to watch it.

Let me just say...I AM HOOKED! Last night I cried three times during the two hour episode (in a good way)! Sure, it would be easier for everyone if we were in their circumstances, but I see now there are lessons we can learn from watching them on their journey. And to be truly successful they will all have to carry over the changes they have made, to their day to day lives.

Good things I have gotten from the show so far are:

• If I was a contestant and got on that scale, I WOULD NOT be the heaviest one! YEA!
• Water: Being hydrated is really important. I used to drink water like crazy. And when I am pregnant I drink water like crazy. But I have not drank enough water for a long time. So today I did not get the afternoon Diet Mountain Dew, but instead had two mugs of water (about 40 oz total). I am going to make water part of my day again.
• Gum: I also used to chew gum like crazy. I always had it with me. The funny thing is that I thought of this over Christmas when my Mom offered me some gum and I said, "I hardly ever chew gum anymore." The thought popped into my head that, 'I used to chew gum alot, and I used to be much thinner'...coincidence? Maybe. Probably Not. If you watched the show last night you saw the terrible planned dialogue about the 3pm snack attack, and Bob whips out some Extra Sweet Sensations Gum. I hate to admit it worked...but I bought two packs of Extra gum today (and I love the new boxes they come in!)

I just have a really revved up feeling about really kicking it in gear and getting more weight off! Not that I am not happy with how I have been doing. I guess it's just a renewed energy and motivation to keep going and keep finding new ways to improve how I lose weight and how to become more healthy. I am talking about some simple things like the water and gum.

If you don't watch it, don't worry! I will keep you updated!

Weigh-In

That cake...it just kept calling me yesterday! That darn cake would just NOT leave me alone! So I finally had to take action. You got it, I threw it away and then smothered it with a dirty diaper! I figured that would stop me from going in after it! And don't worry, I DID NOT go after it, that bag is outside in the big garbage can!


I don't know why I am craving so many foods right now. I don't usually feel like this. But based on these feelings I have decided that it is actually 'safer' to go on what I call Phase 1 1/2 this week. I am afraid that if I don't give myself some more variety, NOW, it will backfire on me! What is Phase 1 1/2? It is adding a few Phase 2 foods, but not all of them everyday like normal. For example, today I plan on having some pudding and an apple with some peanut butter. The pudding and apple are Phase 2. But on Phase 2 you can add up to 3 fruits a day, four servings of bread, and 3 servings of milk. I am going add a few of them, one or two, maybe three on a hard day.


So, I did weigh today. There is good news and bad news. The good news: I am happy with my results and feel it was a really successful week. The bad news: I am still 1.4 pounds over from where I was before Christmas.

The results:

Loss this week: 7.2 lbs

Total weight loss: 24 lbs

For those mathematicians out there you have figured out my total weight gain over Christmas. Yup. That's right. I gained an astounding, whopping, embarrassing, 8.6 lbs! Wow. Who does that? Well, obviously I DID!

But, I am happy that almost all of it is now gone again. And let me tell you, I can SO feel the difference! My stomach really carried all the weight gain. I could see it adding up! I feel much better now and my jeans are back to where they were. I am really happy that I am back on track right after New Year's and moving forward again. Like I have said before, there have been many (okay most) years where it has taken me until Valentine's to get my act together! To me, that is the success of my season, in spite of the huge weight gain over the Holidays!

I am currently working out my next goal. There will be a sort of long term goal, with smaller goals to get to that goal. I will post about it when I have it all figured out. My goal this week is just to get the remaining 1.4 pounds lost!

Quote of the day:

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

~Unknown Author

How many places in our lives does this quote apply to! Everything! But when I think of weight loss it gives me hope! I can make mistakes, I will make more bad choices, but it won't hurt me in the long run unless I stay in the 'bad choice' making place and 'drown myself'!

Here's to staying out of the water, or at least a-float!

Whew! Good Save!

I have been wanting to post for the last several days and just could not get to it! Lukas turned 5 yesterday and I was getting ready for his first friends/cousins party! Which, by the way, was a lot of fun. It was a tough day not to 'pick' the day away though!

It started first thing when we got up...Lukas requested french toast for breakfast. I LOVE french toast. It was really hard to make it, fix it, cut it, serve it, and clean it...all without eating or tasting any of it. But I did it. And I realized that on Phase 2 I can have french toast. I will make it with whole grain bread, the coating is just skim milk and eggs, and then I will get some sugar free syrup! That really helped me be okay without it that day, since I knew I would have it soon.

Then we had his party at Mc Donalds. The kids played on the equipment, ate happy meals, played some more while wearing their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle masks, opened presents, ate cake and ice cream...and played some more! I ordered my favorite salad from Mc D's. It is the southwest chicken salad with grilled chicken. If I am on phase 2 I eat the tortilla strips, but yesterday I did not since I am on phase 1 (which is no carbs). It is a absolutely delicious salad. I knew I would not have time to eat it until after the party, and I was right. The hard part about serving the food was there were some extra fries I could have picked on. Who DOESN'T LOVE fries? I know I do! But, I did not have any. And then the cake...it is SO easy to have a little lick here or there, a bite of Lukas's etc. Those little tastes seem so harmless, but I know they make my body release insulin, and I know they make you want more, and I really will not allow myself to taste, on Phase 1 especially. I also REALLY love cake! But, I did not have any of that either.

I drank Diet Coke.

Then today I went to Marie Calendars for a baby shower for my cousin-in-law Kellie. For Nick's side of the family we always have a shower there when someone gets married and when they have their first baby. It is so fun to talk with all my sister-in-laws and cousin-in-laws (that we call sisters anyway). They are all so great and I enjoy being with them so much! I also love going to Marie Calendars because I can always get the salad bar. Not only does it taste so good to have more variety than at home, but I don't have to wash the lettuce, or cut vegetables, or clean up after! It was really, really satisfying!

******************* 2 hours later ***********************

This is WHY I have this blog...you all SAVED me tonight! If I did not know that I was mid-post, and that I am accountable to ALL OF YOU, I would have FINISHED the last 2 PIECES of CAKE! All of the 'resisting' the last few days caught up to me and I just wanted to eat something really carby and really sweet! But, I did NOT. I told myself that I am on Phase 1 right now, and that has to remain 'my perfect zone'. I had someone ask me, "Not just one bite?" And I said, "No, not on Phase 1." It's because of 'my perfect zone'.

'MY PERFECT ZONE' means that when I am on Phase 1, I follow Phase 1. Period. There are no BLTs (Bites, Licks, Tastes). I do not deviate. I need to know for myself that I have a 'zone' I can go to to get back to the South Beach Basics. That is what I have needed after Christmas, and it is working. I have to know that when I tell myself I am on Phase 1, I will go back to the basics, I will in a way cleanse my body again, I will propel myself forward a bit, I will remind myself of the choices I need to be making. That is why I COULD NOT indulge tonight. If I was on Phase 2 I could have decided to have some, been in control, and still be living on the Beach. Not on Phase 1.

In the past I would have reverted to the "I'll Start Again Tomorrow" syndrome, and it would have started with the cake, and then I would have found more things to binge on. I am thankful that thanks to this blog, I was able to stay connected to my goal at the critical moment when the food choice is made, and I chose right. YEA! It feels really empowering! THANK YOU EVERYONE for being there for me, for cheering me on, for believing me...you are making such a difference in my journey!

So, what did I eat? I have found a new little concoction, and I had some sugar free chocolate chips! Do you remember the Cream Cheese Cups I told you about? I made some of those last night so I could have something sweet after the party. But I have taken them a few steps farther. Now I put one (or 2) in a bowl with a dollop of peanut butter on it and nuke it for about 30 seconds. I stir it up and then smooth it down before spreading some cool whip on top. I also sometimes melt a few chocolate chips in the hot mixtures (allowed? yes.) Then I get a little baby spoon and eat it slowly. I am eating it right now with a Diet Barq's Root Beer. It really helps calm the sweet tooth.

Now, tomorrow. Sunday. Another hard eating day. And it's worse for me now because I get home at 12pm and have the ENTIRE day at home. Don't get me wrong, the thought of all day at home, relaxing sounds wonderful! It's just the eating that gets me a little worried. I think I am ready though. I boiled some eggs so I am ready for a fast salad for lunch. I also made the chili I was talking about, and it's good! So I have that ready for dinner. It is just the snacking I will have to control. I have some almonds, string cheese, celery and peanut butter, some sugar free hard candies, sugar free hot chocolate, and I could make some jello. I also have more root beer in the fridge. I have to do good since I have to weigh-in on Monday!

Quote of the day:

"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another."

-Walter Elliott

How TRUE this quote is! That is exactly what this weight journey is about. I just got through the short race of Lukas's birthday. Now that is over and I can focus on the next short race, which is Sunday! I am beginning to see that losing weight is like anything else, you have to break it down into smaller goals. I have always known that as far as the number goals go (lose 10 pounds, then the next 10, etc) but I have never thought about it in terms of situations. I don't need to worry about every difficult setting I will ever be in. I just focus on the next one, get through it, and then see what is coming next.

I hope everyone has a happy and healthy Sunday...I will report on Monday how the Phase 1 detox has done to reverse the Christmas damage!

Day 2 of Detox

I have almost made it through my second day of 'holiday detox' (one snack to go). It has not been as hard as it could have been. The hardest part was making the decision that, yes, I was going to follow the plan again. Once I made that choice, I started eating the right kinds of foods. Do I always want to eat what I should...no. There are still 'visions of sugar cookies' dancing in my head. But thankfully, Lukas ate the last one today!


I got groceries today. It always feels good to be stocked up on the foods I can eat. But by the time I got everything put away and the kitchen cleaned up...I did not want to wash lettuce. Washing lettuce should not be such a burden, but when I am really tired and hungry I just hate to do it. I know, I know....you have to take off the plastic, and wash it under the water, and then put it in my nifty salad spinner to dry it off, and then get a Tupperware to put it in. But sometimes I just do not want to do it! So, for dinner I had an old, old standby. In fact, this food combination item came up on Nick and I's first date (but I have NO idea how!) I take a half a can of green beans, half a can of ff refried beans and warm them up. Then I melt some low fat cheese on it, and add salsa and ff sour cream. It so yummy! I really do enjoy eating it!


As I have talked about it before, making time for myself to each lunch is always a struggle for me. I have a wintertime solution...SOUP! My Mom made me some soup with some left over broth and I am loving having that for lunch. It is so fast and easy to make, and it tastes SO good and warm going down. Now, I have to admit, the soup my Mom made me is not 100% Phase 1. There are some carrots and peas in it. But, I am not going to waste a whole pot of soup because of some carrots and peas. There is not enough of them in the soup to hurt me, and it's a heck of a lot better than I have been eating. So I am counting it as total Phase 1 compliance.


I also bought the ingredients for Chili today...oh I can't wait! And after that I am going to make a taco soup my sister Cinda makes. There are two weeks worth of yummy, fast lunches to look forward to!


I also withstood the temptation to weigh today. I know that after one day if I did not see any progress I would be really tempted to 'wait til tomorrow'. So I told myself NO, I don't need to see the numbers. I know if I do the right things, I will get the right results.


Well, it's Lukas and Slade's bed time, and then I have a new show recording that I am going to watch. I am going to watch my first full season of The Biggest Loser. I know it will help inspire me more and maybe I'll even find a few helpful hints.

Quote of the day:

"One has to remember that every failure can be a stepping stone to something better."

Anonymous

It really is amazing how much brighter my outlook is after just 2 days back on the 'beach'! If I can continue as I am, right after Christmas and New Years', that will be a new success for me that has come after a failure to be better over the Holidays! There have been many Valentines where I was still trying to get back on track!

Thanks for all the comments of support. You have no idea how much they mean to me!

Un-jumbling thoughts...

Okay...so it has been SO long since I have written on this blog that I don't even know where to start or what to say! I just have jumbled up thoughts that I have had over the last few weeks. I guess I will just start sorting through them as I write. Bear with me...


The Christmas plan. Well, it was a plan. It was a plan that I tried to follow...at first. Then, as the days went by I just became more and more 'unaware' of what I was eating. Or, aware of it, but I was just aware that it was going in my mouth...and did not try to stop it. I just ate what I wanted, when I wanted, even when I could have made a good choice. I really did not feel bad about it. I still knew that I would keep on going and be okay. Then Nick left on the 28th, and I thought "I should get back on track." But, my family was still here and we were still having dinners and there were still left overs so I... continued to be 'off the wagon' for another week.


Let's ANALYZE: How did I feel while eating free willy nilly for 2 weeks?

• I won't lie...it is fun to do, especially at first
• Then there were the craving that started up again, "When can I get my next snack?'
• Then my pants started to feel tighter
• Then I had less energy
• I was tired when I should not have been...after the sugar drop (which leads to MORE SUGAR)
• Then I started to be harder on myself and started having negative self talk "You do look so terrible. 25 pounds is nothing...you have so far to go you will never look better."
• Then I felt worse about myself, more negative talk, which made me eat more food
• When we went shopping in Park City I was beside myself with self-loathing (Cinda picked up on it, dang it, and told me that I was starting to be sad). It was horrible walking around in stores with the most beautiful clothes...and none of them would fit me. And then mirrors to keep reminding me! I felt like a rhinoceros in a china store...HUGE and about to knock everything over.
• As I felt like that in Park City there were 2 trains of thought: Evil (for lack of a better word) Karly wanted to eat like crazy to make herself feel better and comfort herself. Then there was Kind Karly (who really could barely get a thought in past Evil Karly) who said she was working on it (well before Christmas and she would get back on it) and that if she went and stuffed her face she would only be hurting herself and getting her farther from her goal. Thankfully I was surrounded by family and could not head off looking for the kill.
• My pants felt even tighter
• Now, on Monday, the day to get it back together, a thought did cross my mind,"Maybe I will get back on it tomorrow!" "NO!" I screamed to myself...if you do that, tomorrow will NEVER come! You know that. Don't do it!

CHOICE: To live ON the Beach or stay OFF the Beach...and WHEN to get back on?

I hope you know what I chose! I hope you all have at least a little bit of faith in me...as I am trying to have in myself again!

LIFE ON THE BEACH...TODAY!

Yes, I have started again TODAY! As fun as it is to eat 'freely' for a while, I don't want to feel like I have been anymore. I want to have more energy again, I want to be kinder to myself again, I want to be moving toward my goal and feeling positive that YES I can do this. I did re-read my first entry of this blog a few weeks ago to help remind me why this journey is different. One reason it's different is that it is a journey, a long journey that I am on while still living a full life. It will not always be perfect in my choices, there will be setbacks, there will be disappointments, but there is always the choice of what to do NEXT. One bad choice, or two weeks worth of bad choices, does NOT have to lead to two more weeks of bad choices. Every time I eat I decide which direction I want to go....literally, UP or DOWN.

So, I did weigh today, and I am UP, but I am NOT going to tell you how much I gained (does that give it away that it was alot?) I know that is not really fair when I am trying to be upbeat and honest. But, I just can't bear that much of myself today. Please forgive me.

THE PLAN:

I started Phase 1 today. I am going to do 1 week for sure, then I will see where I am and I may do a second week on Phase 1. I will decide next Monday. I need to do Phase 1 to rid my body of all the sugar and carbs and get my blood sugar back on track. It will also give me a boost in losing quicker to get me back where I was. Not only will I start feeling better faster, it will give me the confidence I need to move forward on Phase 2. I need that 'buffer' of time again so that there are no more thoughts of "maybe tomorrow".

WHAT ABOUT THE 14 LBS IN 7 WEEKS GOAL:

I worked hard on that...until Christmas. I am going to advise myself, to let that goal fall by the wayside, and just focus on being on Phase 1. I know myself, and to continue to look at that number as the goal right now, while focusing on just being back on the plan, will be TOO much for me right now. Sometimes we just have to declare defeat in a certain battle, but I am still working to win the war!

CURRENT GOAL:

Follow Phase 1, without variation, for 1 full week.

Quote of the day:

It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up.

Vince Lombardi

That is what I am doing...getting back up. I will be faithful again in keeping up with my blog. It may not be every day, but it will be several times a week! It really helps me remember my goals and keeps me focused!

I know I can do this and give 'Kind Karly' a voice once again!